Final Blog Post!

Good evening! My name is Carson Roach-Howell, and I have now officially finished FST 302 Experimental. The following are my thoughts on the matter:

I am more of a leader than I previously thought. I always knew I was a control freak/very particular, but this semester, compounding on leading Reel Teal last year and with my personal projects outside of class as well, I discovered that I am a leader in spirit. It's something I feel as though I have always rejected with trepidation and maybe a bit of humility. Why would I be a leader? I don't crave power or respect, I don't think. Or at least I try not to. But still I feel that I am one, that I become one sometimes against my will.

Is it because I am self obsessed? Is it because I think I know better than others? Do I think i'm more qualified, or more talented, or more driven? 

Or maybe it is just my role. It is just my personality and I should embrace it. Maybe it exists separately of my ego and my insecurities. Maybe I should accept it.

Not sure yet.

Another thing I learned: I am a lot more experimental in all that I do than I previously thought. I remember coming into film school being afraid of becoming pretentious -- being afraid that I would become so self-absorbed in my little film bubble that I would stop speaking English and start speaking pure pretension. 

But in the past three years I think that I've found the exact opposite to be true of experimental film. In many ways, experimental film (at its best) is the most pure, playful and unassuming type of film. Simply creating based on an idea, a whim or a concept seems to free me from ideas of "deeper" meaning and symbolism and bring more into the realm of the concrete, the experiential. 

Though writing about my work in the class still ends up sounding pretentious sometimes.

Over all I am so glad I took this class over narrative or documentary, I think it offered me opportunities I could not find on my own time (like shooting on Super 8 film) and helped me to grow as a filmmaker in exactly the right direction.

Cheers!

Carson Roach-Howell

Installation Musings

It is interesting to be involved in our installation in a more supporting role.

The paranoid leader in me wants to take the reins of the project and make sure that everything gets done correctly and in an organized fashion.

The apathetic sloth in me wants to let everyone else take up the responsibility and stress of the project, while I slump back and slack off.

The pragmatist in me hopes that I end up falling somewhere in the middle.

I definitely like our idea of exploring sensations through taste, feeling, sight and sound; I am just concerned that the different elements of the project will not come together in a harmonious way.

I am trying my best to let go of that fear and to just be relaxed and excited to share cool things with my class/the world. Enjoy the art or whatever. I think I can confidently say that our group has cool things. Heck, I’m going to and list cool things right now.

1)     Wolfe’s improvisational music – It sounds good and it sounds different every time, pretty cool I’d say.

2)     Fire-breathers – Do I really need to explain why this one is cool?

3)     Laser lights (with fog) – We tried this in Wolfe’s house the other day and it’s cool for sure.

4)     After Effects Animations – They’re all fractally and mesmerizing.

5)     Candy – I like candy. Candy tastes good.

So yeah. We have all of these cool things. I just hope that all of the cool things come together and become a cooler thing – something even cooler than the sum of its cool parts.

My own responsibilities of owning a fog machine and creating animations has been challenging for sure. I basically agreed to create those animations before I had any idea if I could actually do them. But so far my risk seems to be working out. I guess we’ll have to wait and see!

Carson's Crazy Cucalorus Adventure

Wow. What a week. I'm just going to ahead and walk you through everything that happened to me.

~ Tuesday ~

Tuesday night I went to the Cucalorus Connect opening party, where I was assigned my partner entrepreneur partner Edward Hall from Petrics, Inc. This was the start of what amounted to a video race that I participated in all while doing things for class (well, the ones that I didn't skip) and going to screenings/parties. Holy cow.

But of course this also meant that I got a Pegasorus pass -- WORTH IT.

~ Wednesday ~

I was up early Wednesday to meet again with Eddie and go over our plans for filming -- he wanted to get 8 separate interviews over the next 4 days! We got one of them that afternoon, as well as getting beautiful slow-motion b-roll of dogs being cute.

Almost immediately after filming I went to Dancealorus -- which was pretty much what I expected. While over all I'm not sure I enjoyed the pieces as much as last year (they felt more like dance pieces or video pieces loosely connected) it was definitely a unique experience that I am glad I got. My favorite dance at the event was one which used the video element sparingly -- featuring one girl dancing in the spotlight, with words exploring things such as societal expectations of body and beauty. Oh, and halfway through that the screen showed a bunch of disembodied arms for some reason. Good stuff.

Right after that I went to visual/sound/walls (and saw Shannon!) It was fun and chaotic. Definitely a good experience which is distinct from the more traditional screenings later in the week.

Wednesday was looooong. Good long.

~ Thursday ~ 

Thursday was kind of my Cucalorus break day (unintentionally). I had planned on driving home for my mother's birthday, but due to filming yet another interview (this time with a Vet) I wasn't able to do that so I opted to stay home and recover from the night before.

~ Friday ~ 

Another crazy day. I was up early filming two different interviews for my 10x10. Then at 1:00 I went to see the Dandicott shorts -- which was a bunch of local (and many student) shorts. This was great, to get to see what my competition is and to drive me to finish up my own project i've been working on.

After that I saw the feature film "Lace Crater" (if you don't know, that's the one about a girl getting an STD from a ghost after a one-night-stand). It was probably my highlight of the festival. It was surreal, stylistically bold, disturbing and sometimes hilarious. After that film I went up with Joey and talked to the filmmaker/producer pair that created it. It was really nice to meet them, and we continued to meet them throughout the rest of the festival. Also there was a strange animation short before this one and it only helped to make me enjoy those three hours of my life even more (seriously it was stellar).

THEN I went to see Tag at Thalian. It was good, although I felt like it was kind of simplistic and elongated for some reason. Definitely entertaining, though, and worthy of my two hours. Also The Chickening. If you did not get to experience that I am sorry. So sorry. The Chickening.

AND THEN I went straight to the Devil's Tongue shorts at midnight Jengo's at midnight. At this point I was dazed, confused and painfully tired. Those shorts were almost all fantastic, but that couldn't keep me from drifting in and out of consciousness near the end. I think that made them even better though. I believe I remember something about a guy's penis growing 8 feet long and penetrating his friend, making them both spew ejaculate from their mouths? Maybe I dreamed that? (I didn't).

After that I had to drag my friend (and ride) out of the late-night Jengo's party because my girlfriend was on the verge of killing someone. I drove us back and prepared to wake up at 7:00am the next morning to film some more.

~ Saturday ~ 

This is when the madness started to kick in. We woke up. We got two more interviews. We came back and started editing. We went downtown and experienced the virtual reality lounge -- which was alright. The real cool part of that was that we got Cucalorus branded google cardboard -- which is basically a cardboard headset that you slide your phone into and it transforms it (using two lenses) into virtual reality viewer. God knows i've had too much fun with that already.

Then, at 7:00 I saw my token documentary feature for the festival -- Sailing on a Sinking Sea. It was amazing -- i'm not sure if I could've chosen a better token documentary. It was less preachy than I expected (though there is certainly a call to action at the end) and more about immersing yourself in this completely foreign nomadic culture. It was really special because I felt as though it was miracle that I got a view into this world I could've lived and died without ever even knowing about. Also, it was beautifully shot and stylistically interesting (not your typical documentary style, the director/photographer was a photography student and that really shined through).

After that we had to return home and begin editing our project due the NEXT DAY. We edited from 9:00pm that night to 7:00am the next morning. Our video was 12 minutes long since we had so much content, and so we had to find a way to at least get it close to the 5 minute time limit for the screening Sunday at 4:30pm. But then we went to sleep.

~ Sunday ~ 

I woke up at 12:00 and Eddie had watched the video and begun slicing parts out. I jumped up and started editing again, and soon Eddie came to our apartment to also shout of my shoulder. Completing that edit was definitely my most intense experience of the weekend. We were slicing and dicing and pushing my computer well beyond its limits up until 3:45 when we starting rendering the video. We then sped over and thankfully got our (8 minute long) video in on time.

The Cucalorus 10x10 screening went about as expected, and I was much too dazed to really get into it. But it felt good to have something that a whole audience was watching, I guess? And we made a valuable connection with Eddie that will almost definitely lead to some paid work down the line. #NoRagrets

I came home after that in full tired spiral from the craziness -- a bit heartbreaking since I REALLY wanted to go to the secret screening last night. But still, it was a near flawless Cucalorus and I wouldn't have traded that experience for the world. Hoping to get my narrative short in next year so I can own that festival!

Self Portrait Reflection

I suppose I am happy with how my self portrait turned out. The animation was interesting, charming and full of texture in a way only something hand-drawn could be, it and had a good (and perhaps surprising) twist as well. Played with the expectations of the viewer nicely, I thought.

I also really liked how improvisational its creation felt, from the stream of consciousness style drawings to the transformation of the idea as I created it. This is a vein that I can trace throughout my work in this class and perhaps even before this class. From the first projects where I got my group to go in a circle making completely random noises on a whim to the editing style of the rapid-fire picture to the use of improvisational elements such as fire and fluid physics, I feel as though I have touched on one of my fundamental beliefs about art: that the creation of unique, pure idea is best done on a whim. 

While I am certainly someone who likes to plan, to be on time and to have everything in order, I do not believe that any amount of planning begets genius. Planning and execution certainly begets refinement, stability and ensures that you follow through, but it does not create the spark, the seed, the whatever you want to call it which starts your piece.

With this class I think that I have learned to step back and get out of my own way. To let my projects evolve, twist, mutate and grow of their own accord. While I have not grown less discerning or critical of my own work (I personally regret putting the words into my video, I feel like it was more subtle and less obvious without them) I have learned a bit of the courage/recklessness to experiment -- something that very possibly will not work -- just to see where that will get me. And I think where I end up in life 5, 10 or 400 years from now that knowledge will help me. 

My Cucalorus plans

I'm super excited for Cucalorus this year! This year I have a car, and a small class-load on Thursdays and Friday so I will be more involved than I have in the past. I have an internship this semester with a company Elite Innovations, which is part of this years "Cucalorus Connect" -- I will be helping them film for this, as well as participating in Cucalorus' 10x10. I've also purchased a 5 movie pass -- but I may be receiving a larger one and of course if I want to see more movies I can always buy extra tickets!

Here are the 5 screenings I am definitely going to:

"Dance-a-lorus" -- 7:00pm at Thalian Main Wednesday Night

I went to this one last year and I found it definitely fascinating and pretty awesome. It's different from what you get to see normally at film festivals and it all-but kicks off Cucalorus! 

"Dandicott Shorts" -- http://www.cucalorus.org/film_Detail.asp?id=2762 -- 1:15pm on Friday 11/13 @ City Stage

I primarily want to go to this one to support the film 1994 AD which some friends of mine worked on -- also go UNCW! And of course I always like short films as a format. 

"Lace Crater" -- http://www.cucalorus.org/film_Detail.asp?id=2818 -- Friday 4:30pm @ CFCC Union Station

After the Dandicott shorts I want to check out this absurd sounding feature about a woman getting an STD from a one-night stand with a ghost. Can't help myself on this one. 

"Devil's Tongue Shorts" -- http://www.cucalorus.org/film_Detail.asp?id=2763 -- Friday at 11:59pm @ Jengo's Playhouse. 

More shorts! Just read the description for this one: These films will kidnap your soul and make it swallow a gallon of blood, a scoop of raised-hair, a pinch of questions, and of course, a gulp of approval.

Also, one of the films is called "CROW HAND!!!" -- seems like quintessential Cucalorus material to me.

"Sailing a Sinking Sea" -- http://www.cucalorus.org/film_Detail.asp?id=2481 -- Saturday @ 7:15pm at Thalian Black.

I have to get to a Documentary at some point in the weekend -- and this seems like the one. From the trailer it is a beautiful exploration of a culture/way of life which I cannot imagine. Seems like this is the one.

Of course, all of this is subject to change -- and hopefully I can get around to even more screenings than this. We'll see in the next few days as I figure out which films my friends are going to (and as my Cucalorus schedule unfolds). Let's-a-go!

Ideas on a self portrait

Right now I have two ideas warring in my head.

My first idea is to get 25 different videos of me hitting record and then doing a self portrait in some sort of visual medium (chalk, charcoal, pencil, computer, my own blood etc) -- then to stack these videos 5x5 and put them all on the screen at once -- starting at the same time and then ticking out one by one.

I like this idea because it explores the notion of artistic expression, it is complex and it is helplessly postmodern. All three of those things fit with me, I believe.

My other idea is to play with the idea of hand-drawn stop-motion animation. Stop motion has always been close to my heart -- the first videos I ever did were stop-motion on my mother's old movie camera. I used to spend 5 hour sitting in front of my whiteboard and photographing simple animations to share with my friends on youtube. If that isn't the essence of my artistic spirit, I don't know what is.

With animation I want to play with the idea of permanence -- using pen to make drawings and not allowing myself to discard or erase anything from any of my drawings. I'm also toying with the idea of self-reflexivity (I may have just made that word up) -- by labeling the number of each drawing (1/24th or possibly 1/12th of a second) and writing the time of completion. That way you could literally watch the hours drip away as the animation progresses.

Either way, i'm excited for this project. It's not that often that you are forced to go out and make whatever you want -- to toy with the raw materials of cinema and simply create without pressure or judgement. It's definitely taking me back.

PS -- Here's an example of my old stop-motion stuff: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3d0c6diWHM0

or this claymation I did: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rN_cQKRYY8

Locations and Talent confirmation for Music Video Project

Bonfire -- Kyle's Back yard.
     Charter Dr. Wilmington, NC 28403

Bathtub -- Carson's Apartment (bathroom)
     On Campus Seahawk Crossing Building 3

Room that is dark -- Carson's Apartment (main room)

Bellevue Cemetery -- Sunday morning 7:00 - 9:00am (Wilmington)

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Talent: Logan Chaucer (singer of Blue Footed Boobies)