Final Blog Post!

Good evening! My name is Carson Roach-Howell, and I have now officially finished FST 302 Experimental. The following are my thoughts on the matter:

I am more of a leader than I previously thought. I always knew I was a control freak/very particular, but this semester, compounding on leading Reel Teal last year and with my personal projects outside of class as well, I discovered that I am a leader in spirit. It's something I feel as though I have always rejected with trepidation and maybe a bit of humility. Why would I be a leader? I don't crave power or respect, I don't think. Or at least I try not to. But still I feel that I am one, that I become one sometimes against my will.

Is it because I am self obsessed? Is it because I think I know better than others? Do I think i'm more qualified, or more talented, or more driven? 

Or maybe it is just my role. It is just my personality and I should embrace it. Maybe it exists separately of my ego and my insecurities. Maybe I should accept it.

Not sure yet.

Another thing I learned: I am a lot more experimental in all that I do than I previously thought. I remember coming into film school being afraid of becoming pretentious -- being afraid that I would become so self-absorbed in my little film bubble that I would stop speaking English and start speaking pure pretension. 

But in the past three years I think that I've found the exact opposite to be true of experimental film. In many ways, experimental film (at its best) is the most pure, playful and unassuming type of film. Simply creating based on an idea, a whim or a concept seems to free me from ideas of "deeper" meaning and symbolism and bring more into the realm of the concrete, the experiential. 

Though writing about my work in the class still ends up sounding pretentious sometimes.

Over all I am so glad I took this class over narrative or documentary, I think it offered me opportunities I could not find on my own time (like shooting on Super 8 film) and helped me to grow as a filmmaker in exactly the right direction.

Cheers!

Carson Roach-Howell

Installation Musings

It is interesting to be involved in our installation in a more supporting role.

The paranoid leader in me wants to take the reins of the project and make sure that everything gets done correctly and in an organized fashion.

The apathetic sloth in me wants to let everyone else take up the responsibility and stress of the project, while I slump back and slack off.

The pragmatist in me hopes that I end up falling somewhere in the middle.

I definitely like our idea of exploring sensations through taste, feeling, sight and sound; I am just concerned that the different elements of the project will not come together in a harmonious way.

I am trying my best to let go of that fear and to just be relaxed and excited to share cool things with my class/the world. Enjoy the art or whatever. I think I can confidently say that our group has cool things. Heck, I’m going to and list cool things right now.

1)     Wolfe’s improvisational music – It sounds good and it sounds different every time, pretty cool I’d say.

2)     Fire-breathers – Do I really need to explain why this one is cool?

3)     Laser lights (with fog) – We tried this in Wolfe’s house the other day and it’s cool for sure.

4)     After Effects Animations – They’re all fractally and mesmerizing.

5)     Candy – I like candy. Candy tastes good.

So yeah. We have all of these cool things. I just hope that all of the cool things come together and become a cooler thing – something even cooler than the sum of its cool parts.

My own responsibilities of owning a fog machine and creating animations has been challenging for sure. I basically agreed to create those animations before I had any idea if I could actually do them. But so far my risk seems to be working out. I guess we’ll have to wait and see!

Carson's Crazy Cucalorus Adventure

Wow. What a week. I'm just going to ahead and walk you through everything that happened to me.

~ Tuesday ~

Tuesday night I went to the Cucalorus Connect opening party, where I was assigned my partner entrepreneur partner Edward Hall from Petrics, Inc. This was the start of what amounted to a video race that I participated in all while doing things for class (well, the ones that I didn't skip) and going to screenings/parties. Holy cow.

But of course this also meant that I got a Pegasorus pass -- WORTH IT.

~ Wednesday ~

I was up early Wednesday to meet again with Eddie and go over our plans for filming -- he wanted to get 8 separate interviews over the next 4 days! We got one of them that afternoon, as well as getting beautiful slow-motion b-roll of dogs being cute.

Almost immediately after filming I went to Dancealorus -- which was pretty much what I expected. While over all I'm not sure I enjoyed the pieces as much as last year (they felt more like dance pieces or video pieces loosely connected) it was definitely a unique experience that I am glad I got. My favorite dance at the event was one which used the video element sparingly -- featuring one girl dancing in the spotlight, with words exploring things such as societal expectations of body and beauty. Oh, and halfway through that the screen showed a bunch of disembodied arms for some reason. Good stuff.

Right after that I went to visual/sound/walls (and saw Shannon!) It was fun and chaotic. Definitely a good experience which is distinct from the more traditional screenings later in the week.

Wednesday was looooong. Good long.

~ Thursday ~ 

Thursday was kind of my Cucalorus break day (unintentionally). I had planned on driving home for my mother's birthday, but due to filming yet another interview (this time with a Vet) I wasn't able to do that so I opted to stay home and recover from the night before.

~ Friday ~ 

Another crazy day. I was up early filming two different interviews for my 10x10. Then at 1:00 I went to see the Dandicott shorts -- which was a bunch of local (and many student) shorts. This was great, to get to see what my competition is and to drive me to finish up my own project i've been working on.

After that I saw the feature film "Lace Crater" (if you don't know, that's the one about a girl getting an STD from a ghost after a one-night-stand). It was probably my highlight of the festival. It was surreal, stylistically bold, disturbing and sometimes hilarious. After that film I went up with Joey and talked to the filmmaker/producer pair that created it. It was really nice to meet them, and we continued to meet them throughout the rest of the festival. Also there was a strange animation short before this one and it only helped to make me enjoy those three hours of my life even more (seriously it was stellar).

THEN I went to see Tag at Thalian. It was good, although I felt like it was kind of simplistic and elongated for some reason. Definitely entertaining, though, and worthy of my two hours. Also The Chickening. If you did not get to experience that I am sorry. So sorry. The Chickening.

AND THEN I went straight to the Devil's Tongue shorts at midnight Jengo's at midnight. At this point I was dazed, confused and painfully tired. Those shorts were almost all fantastic, but that couldn't keep me from drifting in and out of consciousness near the end. I think that made them even better though. I believe I remember something about a guy's penis growing 8 feet long and penetrating his friend, making them both spew ejaculate from their mouths? Maybe I dreamed that? (I didn't).

After that I had to drag my friend (and ride) out of the late-night Jengo's party because my girlfriend was on the verge of killing someone. I drove us back and prepared to wake up at 7:00am the next morning to film some more.

~ Saturday ~ 

This is when the madness started to kick in. We woke up. We got two more interviews. We came back and started editing. We went downtown and experienced the virtual reality lounge -- which was alright. The real cool part of that was that we got Cucalorus branded google cardboard -- which is basically a cardboard headset that you slide your phone into and it transforms it (using two lenses) into virtual reality viewer. God knows i've had too much fun with that already.

Then, at 7:00 I saw my token documentary feature for the festival -- Sailing on a Sinking Sea. It was amazing -- i'm not sure if I could've chosen a better token documentary. It was less preachy than I expected (though there is certainly a call to action at the end) and more about immersing yourself in this completely foreign nomadic culture. It was really special because I felt as though it was miracle that I got a view into this world I could've lived and died without ever even knowing about. Also, it was beautifully shot and stylistically interesting (not your typical documentary style, the director/photographer was a photography student and that really shined through).

After that we had to return home and begin editing our project due the NEXT DAY. We edited from 9:00pm that night to 7:00am the next morning. Our video was 12 minutes long since we had so much content, and so we had to find a way to at least get it close to the 5 minute time limit for the screening Sunday at 4:30pm. But then we went to sleep.

~ Sunday ~ 

I woke up at 12:00 and Eddie had watched the video and begun slicing parts out. I jumped up and started editing again, and soon Eddie came to our apartment to also shout of my shoulder. Completing that edit was definitely my most intense experience of the weekend. We were slicing and dicing and pushing my computer well beyond its limits up until 3:45 when we starting rendering the video. We then sped over and thankfully got our (8 minute long) video in on time.

The Cucalorus 10x10 screening went about as expected, and I was much too dazed to really get into it. But it felt good to have something that a whole audience was watching, I guess? And we made a valuable connection with Eddie that will almost definitely lead to some paid work down the line. #NoRagrets

I came home after that in full tired spiral from the craziness -- a bit heartbreaking since I REALLY wanted to go to the secret screening last night. But still, it was a near flawless Cucalorus and I wouldn't have traded that experience for the world. Hoping to get my narrative short in next year so I can own that festival!

Self Portrait Reflection

I suppose I am happy with how my self portrait turned out. The animation was interesting, charming and full of texture in a way only something hand-drawn could be, it and had a good (and perhaps surprising) twist as well. Played with the expectations of the viewer nicely, I thought.

I also really liked how improvisational its creation felt, from the stream of consciousness style drawings to the transformation of the idea as I created it. This is a vein that I can trace throughout my work in this class and perhaps even before this class. From the first projects where I got my group to go in a circle making completely random noises on a whim to the editing style of the rapid-fire picture to the use of improvisational elements such as fire and fluid physics, I feel as though I have touched on one of my fundamental beliefs about art: that the creation of unique, pure idea is best done on a whim. 

While I am certainly someone who likes to plan, to be on time and to have everything in order, I do not believe that any amount of planning begets genius. Planning and execution certainly begets refinement, stability and ensures that you follow through, but it does not create the spark, the seed, the whatever you want to call it which starts your piece.

With this class I think that I have learned to step back and get out of my own way. To let my projects evolve, twist, mutate and grow of their own accord. While I have not grown less discerning or critical of my own work (I personally regret putting the words into my video, I feel like it was more subtle and less obvious without them) I have learned a bit of the courage/recklessness to experiment -- something that very possibly will not work -- just to see where that will get me. And I think where I end up in life 5, 10 or 400 years from now that knowledge will help me. 

My Cucalorus plans

I'm super excited for Cucalorus this year! This year I have a car, and a small class-load on Thursdays and Friday so I will be more involved than I have in the past. I have an internship this semester with a company Elite Innovations, which is part of this years "Cucalorus Connect" -- I will be helping them film for this, as well as participating in Cucalorus' 10x10. I've also purchased a 5 movie pass -- but I may be receiving a larger one and of course if I want to see more movies I can always buy extra tickets!

Here are the 5 screenings I am definitely going to:

"Dance-a-lorus" -- 7:00pm at Thalian Main Wednesday Night

I went to this one last year and I found it definitely fascinating and pretty awesome. It's different from what you get to see normally at film festivals and it all-but kicks off Cucalorus! 

"Dandicott Shorts" -- http://www.cucalorus.org/film_Detail.asp?id=2762 -- 1:15pm on Friday 11/13 @ City Stage

I primarily want to go to this one to support the film 1994 AD which some friends of mine worked on -- also go UNCW! And of course I always like short films as a format. 

"Lace Crater" -- http://www.cucalorus.org/film_Detail.asp?id=2818 -- Friday 4:30pm @ CFCC Union Station

After the Dandicott shorts I want to check out this absurd sounding feature about a woman getting an STD from a one-night stand with a ghost. Can't help myself on this one. 

"Devil's Tongue Shorts" -- http://www.cucalorus.org/film_Detail.asp?id=2763 -- Friday at 11:59pm @ Jengo's Playhouse. 

More shorts! Just read the description for this one: These films will kidnap your soul and make it swallow a gallon of blood, a scoop of raised-hair, a pinch of questions, and of course, a gulp of approval.

Also, one of the films is called "CROW HAND!!!" -- seems like quintessential Cucalorus material to me.

"Sailing a Sinking Sea" -- http://www.cucalorus.org/film_Detail.asp?id=2481 -- Saturday @ 7:15pm at Thalian Black.

I have to get to a Documentary at some point in the weekend -- and this seems like the one. From the trailer it is a beautiful exploration of a culture/way of life which I cannot imagine. Seems like this is the one.

Of course, all of this is subject to change -- and hopefully I can get around to even more screenings than this. We'll see in the next few days as I figure out which films my friends are going to (and as my Cucalorus schedule unfolds). Let's-a-go!

Ideas on a self portrait

Right now I have two ideas warring in my head.

My first idea is to get 25 different videos of me hitting record and then doing a self portrait in some sort of visual medium (chalk, charcoal, pencil, computer, my own blood etc) -- then to stack these videos 5x5 and put them all on the screen at once -- starting at the same time and then ticking out one by one.

I like this idea because it explores the notion of artistic expression, it is complex and it is helplessly postmodern. All three of those things fit with me, I believe.

My other idea is to play with the idea of hand-drawn stop-motion animation. Stop motion has always been close to my heart -- the first videos I ever did were stop-motion on my mother's old movie camera. I used to spend 5 hour sitting in front of my whiteboard and photographing simple animations to share with my friends on youtube. If that isn't the essence of my artistic spirit, I don't know what is.

With animation I want to play with the idea of permanence -- using pen to make drawings and not allowing myself to discard or erase anything from any of my drawings. I'm also toying with the idea of self-reflexivity (I may have just made that word up) -- by labeling the number of each drawing (1/24th or possibly 1/12th of a second) and writing the time of completion. That way you could literally watch the hours drip away as the animation progresses.

Either way, i'm excited for this project. It's not that often that you are forced to go out and make whatever you want -- to toy with the raw materials of cinema and simply create without pressure or judgement. It's definitely taking me back.

PS -- Here's an example of my old stop-motion stuff: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3d0c6diWHM0

or this claymation I did: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rN_cQKRYY8

Locations and Talent confirmation for Music Video Project

Bonfire -- Kyle's Back yard.
     Charter Dr. Wilmington, NC 28403

Bathtub -- Carson's Apartment (bathroom)
     On Campus Seahawk Crossing Building 3

Room that is dark -- Carson's Apartment (main room)

Bellevue Cemetery -- Sunday morning 7:00 - 9:00am (Wilmington)

--

Talent: Logan Chaucer (singer of Blue Footed Boobies)

My visions for our music video

As director for the music video, the brunt of the creative force must come from me. That alone is quite daunting. I must take a song and, seemingly out of nowhere, create a concept.

With Can you Feel, I first latched onto the word "fire," which arises throughout the song. But of course, where I found real creative inspiration was in the brainstorming--in working out vague concepts into slightly less vague concepts.

I started with fire because 1) I like fire and 2) the song mentioned it and 3) Fire is an interesting visual element. Then I went to graveyards because 1) I like graveyards and 2) Death seemed to be a nice, cool counterpoint to the heat/passion of the fire.

While listening to the song second by second I hit my first stumbling-block 20 seconds in when the guitar really kicks in. How do I represent that powerful musical element? The obvious answer would be to show the guitar itself -- to show the strings which are making the sound. But of course I like the answers that are not obvious the most and so I thought, "How can I represent sound without showing sound in a literal sense?" and then I came upon the idea of using the disturbed surface of water.

I like the improvisational tones of my idea. I like that the fire and the water -- two things that we as filmmakers may influence but cannot control -- get to be a part of the film in the moment as much as we are. I like that I am leaving room for ingenuity, spontaneity and flexibility to thrive within my vision. My only fear is that the loose skeletal structure of my plans will collapse when put under pressure.

As director I've found that there is always that fear. That fear that your project will collapse and it will be your fault. You will be a creative failure. You will let down your group and yourself. You will let down every filmmaker who has successfully created a work of art (or shart). But it all comes with the trade, I suppose. I'm cool with crippling existential fears at this point. Me and them are real good buddies.

A Response to "Arthouse to 'Microcinema'"

While I have a special place in my heart for smaller, independently owned theaters which show movies that are off the beaten path while still being mildly main-stream, I'm not sure I'm sold on the concept of the microcinema. The concept of going to a smelly old trailer and sitting around an old TV set watching an usual (and probably bad) film with some random crazed cine-nerds just doesn't sound like my idea of a good time.

In this internet age, I would much rather find my own obscure films and invite friends over to see them with me in the comfort of my own home. But I guess I am pretty antisocial. And I definitely support independent and experimental film on principal. Perhaps i'm just a hater.

Response to Assignment 1C

What I learned from working with film:

    1) Film is finicky and mildly terrifying: The suspense of opening up the camera, not knowing if the film spooled in correctly -- and knowing that if it didn't your photographs are ruined -- is rather unwelcome. While some of it's temperamental nature may be attributed to the fact that our equipment is old, I think some of it is also simply the nature of film as a medium.

    2) Film is forgiving. When compared to shooting on a DSLR, I found the exposures to be more forgiving in terms of accuracy and depth of image. When shooting digital, you do not have much lee-way with how you set your camera. Here, all three of the bracketed images were usable in some sense. This is most likely because the dynamic range of film is greater. Of course, this is counteracted by the fact that one can immediately see and rapidly take photos on a DSLR.

    3) Film is exciting. Despite my cynicism and love of digital I must admit that it was exciting to shoot on film. I think part of that goes with my general lack of experience with and knowledge of film. It feels (to me) less like an understandable process and more of a magically mystery. When I would release the shutter I was not quite sure what was going on chemically. On top of that the suspense of taking the pictures and having no idea what they will look like until they are developed. That's fun too.

What really excited me about this assignment was not necessarily the film, but the methodical process used to get images with the camera. I really enjoyed measuring each shot with the measuring tape, to know that I am in focus without a doubt, using the sekonic to get all sorts of data on light readings and then finally taking the photo with the desired stops. It -- somewhat ironically -- felt a lot less like experimentation than the manual setting on my DSLR does. When i'm using manual on my DSLR I can take a picture, see the outcome and adjust accordingly.

In short, I guess I felt more professional and less amateurish. Plus, when the senior citizens at my job back home ask me if I actually used film in film studies I can tell them "yes, I did."

Light observations

Light observation #1: 

        Driving casually at night has always been one of my favorite experiences visually. At night I am free from the visual cacophony of the day. Free to take in the symphony of lights passing my car and gleaming off of my windshield.

I have distinct memories of squinting into the cheap chandelier overhanging my dining room table one night years ago. I tilted my head and watched the bulbs’ light split through my eyelashes. Driving at night reminds me of that simple, beautiful sight.

Light is more loud when the sun has sunk below the horizon. Streetlights and stoplights paint an emotive picture over each tree and building they touch. Basically, I really like it.

#2:

        I have always found fluorescent lighting to be positively soul crushing. Whether I’m spending countless hours in an over-lit high school classroom or I’m spending 20 minutes in Walmart I always feel as though I am Alex in the infamous scene from A Clockwork Orange when he is having his eyes held open by machines.

        The way I see it, abundant fluorescent lighting is supposed to mimic the effect of the sun – daylight (which I also occasionally detest). Let it go on the record, however, that it is a terrible, phony, representation of sunlight. Fluorescent light lacks character. It forces its way into your eyelids and laughs at your pain.

And it is not even used with good intent. Schools want to keep their students awake – to force their (usually terrible) circadian rhythms into submission. Walmart wants to keep their lifeless employees upright.

        Basically, fluorescent lighting is the devil.

#3:

       

        I find it interesting the way long exposure photography seems not to draw out motion but to smooth it over. In doing my abstract photos I attempted two long exposures in which I aimed to paint patterns with light. One of those photos – the spatula under the rippling water – gave me an unexpected result.

        I expected the camera to see the distortion on the surface of the water, but instead I got what looks to be a spatula sitting in a bathtub with some slight distortion. The film did not pick up a sampling of the water’s motion the way your eye does. The film picked up the collective motion of the course of the exposure and smoothed it out into one (pretty disappointing) image. The same goes for the shot of Kyle in the dark with a phone flashlight on his face.

        I see now why Eggeling and Richter were so drawn to film (motion pictures, that is) as a medium. While you can expose as long as you want to, in the end photography can only create one image – seconds or minute compressed into a single frame. Nothing near the power of the moving image.

Meditations on Sound Design -- Assignment 1B response

Sound design is difficult for me to process.

When I edit sound, art feels like accident. Perhaps it is because I view editing as a visual task. I see the bars of video and sound on the timeline clicking into place like a puzzle. I see the files unwinding frame by frame like a film strip. I see color, I see rhythm and I see time. It is not so with sound.

I can quantify loudness. I can see waveforms and levels -- where sound is and where sound is not -- but I cannot see its texture, tone or timbre. For those I must listen, and my sense of hearing is not nearly as discerning as my sense of sight. I cannot visualize (auralize?) sound before it is created. I have less sound-intuition, if you will.

When I edit sound I do not have an idea that I make into a reality. When I edit sound I place sound on the timeline and I listen, then I add another sound and I listen once more. And so on. Perhaps this means I have no sense for sound. Perhaps this means that sound editing, for me, is true experimentation – free from gaining ideas and preconceptions of taste.

That isn’t to say that I am not discerning about what I hear once I do hear it, of course.  

Over the course of project 1B I learned some things about what I like in sound and what I do not. Some of it was obvious, some of it was not.

I learned that sometimes the least complex sound design is the most satisfying.

I learned that “realistic” soundscapes – unlike realistic images – chase feeling rather than resolution. When I hear sound in my everyday life I am not hearing everything around me at once but rather I am hearing a few things very closely.

I also learned that it is very difficult to describe to someone through words what you see in a sound, or how to arrange a sound in editing. In this way, to collaborate on sound is challenging.

I still enjoy sound, perhaps now a bit more than I did before. I still have a strange relationship with sound too. Sound is a distraction, sound is a formless mud which slips through my fingers as I grab for it. But sound is alright by me. 

A response to "Absolute Film"

As an artist, I am totally on board with the idea of absolute film. Light and motion are the fundamental materials of film as a medium. I think that is easy to forget when you’re watching the expertly obscure films produced by major studios in the United States.

In the years since the birth of absolute film, the medium has gotten more and more complicated. On top of light and motion we added sound and color. While these two elements may seem small they have completely taken over the minds of the film-consuming public.

I think, however, that in this new age of digital filmmaking we have found the possibilities for absolute film (absolute film 2.0, if you will). With the birth of computer animation we now have complete control over our art. Digital film is not comprised of chemicals and particles of silver but rather pixels – 2,073,600 of them in a 1080p video. Using my computer – I can control the specific color of each pixel completely separately and wholly. If this does not allow for a new movement of absolute film I do not know what will. 

A response to 9/9 filmmaker presentations

Jonas Mekas seems like a definite bro. That's my biggest take-away from Samantha's presentation on him. Regardless of what I think about his work, I'd film make with him any day of the week. 

His passion for art, and for artists is inspiring to me personally as an artist. The way he fit film into a constantly busy life gives me hope as someone who often feels stuck in the chaotic world of college life. If he could find time to create on film in the midst of his life, surely I can whip out a phone or camera of any sort and create my art as well. 

I thought Samantha did a great job of presenting on him. I thought the clip she opened with captured his spirit perfectly, and I think seeing all that he did for experimental film-making as a movement is crucial to understanding his effect on the medium.

Viking Eggeling's story reflects some of my fears about myself. He was undoubtedly a talented artist, a man of great ideas, but he died before he ever got to see those ideas become a reality. Part of that was he lived in a pretty rough time and place, but another part of it, I think, is his obsession with perfection. 

That is something I feel in myself. Not deep down but throughout my character. It reflects a struggle I've had throughout my life, and in the past year in particular. If I stubbornly refuse to create anything less than perfect, I will simply never create. Though I am discerning and I am methodical, if I ever want to be happy with who I am I need to let that go.

It also helps that I probably will not contract syphilis any time soon. 

Harry Smith was a little bit harder to relate to for me. His personality is one I have never really associated with. I am not the sort of artist who cares so intensely about art above all else.

I can associate better with what Patrick said about Smith's life before he got into drugs. I am big on thinking. I like to deconstruct and reconstruct and reorganize thoughts and groups of thoughts. I think that is what the human brain does best. And I think using drugs, while interesting and eye-opening for sure, inhibits that fundamental power of the human brain.

With that said, I thought the works Patrick showed us by Smith (especially the first) were absolutely fascinating and often beautiful. I think as an experimenter Smith's obsession with creating art independently of money or opinion is admirable. Just not something I could ever do. 

Great job on the presentations all around, though!

Synesthesia and Cymatics

The visualization of sound, through cymatics, animation and other technologies, shows to me our obsession with the visual sense. While cymatics may certainly be helpful as a tool to explore sound on a more experiential level, they will always be a hollow representation of the true auditory sense. 

To put an image to sound is to feed our fundamental urge for visual stimulus. The moment an image is associated with a sound, the sound's artistic purity is corrupted by the human mind. 

The same goes for an image. In my exploration of the absolute film movement for my filmmaker presentation I have found that the inherent power of the visuals in Symphonie Diagonale are instantly lessened when paired with a soundtrack of any type. 

This is not to say that cymatics are not interesting themselves; they are most certainly a captivating representation of sound through visuals. Cymatics have the power to give the viewer a new perspective on the idea of sound. To see sound not simply as a perception but as a complex universal force. Sound is not only what we hear, its effects resonate (pun intended) throughout our understanding, Scientific and Spiritual, of the universe.

But it is important to keep in mind that cymatics are but another way for our bodies and minds to perceive the essence of sound. They are no less valid a perception than hearing but they are also no closer to a true understanding of sound itself. 

Sound Recording (1A) Reflection

The experience of sound recording was simultaneously confining and liberating. 

It was liberating because the assignment called only for us to record what we heard. We searched in our recordings not for meaning but rather for the inherent qualities of sound: loudness, pitch, tone, rhythm. Since we were given no topic we were free to act on a whim -- to push and pull and scratch and play as we explored these sounds.

I believe, however, that in such freedom one will undoubtedly find constraint. When given the entire auditory landscape to explore, the immediate options are overwhelming. Where do I go first? How do I pick a direction when there is no path? 

Such is the challenge of all true creativity.

A response to “Theory of the Film: Sound” by Bela Balazs

Theory of Film: Sound by Bela Balazs

         I fundamentally agree with the idea Balazs presents in this essay: that sound is a complex and powerful cinematic tool -- one which has not often been fully utilized in the near 100 years since it entered the filmmaker's toolkit. When film made the transition from silent to sound, it simultaneously gained potential depth and lost expressive power. Where before sound, filmmakers were required to use their ingenuity to convey the auditory qualities of a scene, this new technology allowed artists to simply convey the sound itself in their works.

          While something was absolutely lost in that transition, I believe that sound as a tool can add immeasurable amounts of complexity to a film. The limitations of silent film absolutely encouraged creative expression, but sound itself has provided even more opportunities for film to grow as a medium.

Balazs explores a few of the ways that sound can enrich cinema in unexpected, and under-utilized ways. Reading this piece made me excited for the possibilities of sound in my own projects, and in film as a whole. It made me feel as though the options laid out before me as a filmmaker are more limitless than I previously thought, like discovering a color never before seen on your pallet half way through a painting. 

Audio Logs (part I and II)

Part One: Into the woods

          Deep in the woods on the back end of campus I sit. A bed of pine straw below me, a darkening sky above.

          I close my eyes.

          In the distance, cars and motorcycles roar. The branches of the trees behind my creak and snap. A high pitched chirp and a flutter of wings. The evening’s crickets are just warming up. They seem to be high in the trees. Far to my left, an engine grumbles. Even here the sounds of traffic break through the trees.

          A quiet symphony of chirps in the tree line above me.

Another cricket. A soloist. He plays as well.

Another singular sound joins him on my right.

Behind me. A click, like a drop of rain on the pine straw. But it is not raining. The forest is shifting.

Another angry cry from south college.

Another bug joins in on the evening’s concert. This one sounds like a zipper. He only sounds once.

          The ambient noises from the road and the wind blend together to give the atmosphere a pleasant hum. They defeat the fundamental silence.

          Now a plane. An engine reverberates over my head. Moving from behind me to above me to in front of me. Slowly. Or quickly.

          The sounds of the traffic seem to be quieting over all. The crickets seem to be getting louder.

The sun is threatening to sink below the horizon, it seems.

Part Two: The side of the road

          Sitting now, precipitously close to the edge of the road.

          Eyes close again.

          Cars pass – slowly or quickly. Some engines hum, some roar.

          One passes and seems to slow as it passes. Like a large, angry bee. Somewhere between a hum and a buzz. Its tires creak on the pavement as they turn.

          A motorcycle rips past me, I think.

          Some of the cars have music playing that I can subtle hear the thumping rhythm of. Can’t make out the song.

          Between vehicles I hear the constant hum of what seems to be air conditioning units, or heaters, or something.

          Crickets chant angrily from the trees far to my right. Almost in response to them a wave of crickets circles in front of me and to my left. Where are they even hiding?

Behind me in a parking lot a car’s tires grumble as the push loose pieces of asphalt (or gravel?) around. They’re probably parking. I guess that’s what you do in a parking lot.

Brakes squeak. Or whine. Unintelligible conversations of people walking on the sidewalk.

They must think I’m strange.

I mean, I am ostensibly eaves dropping.

A siren. A door closing. A girlish voice. A car door opens and closes. Another car passes me. Louder as it goes. But then quieter.

A more manly voice now. The way it sounds annoys me.

A Response to Maya Deren's "Amateur vs. Professional"

Maya Deren -- Amateur vs. Professional

To Maya Deren, experimental film is freedom. Where some may view not having the tools or resources of a studio as holding them back she calls them to run forward using what they, the amateur, have. This conceptualization of experimental film is more powerful than a definition centered around opposition.

If an amateur filmmaker sees her work as being in opposition to the system, she is held back by the need to "respond" to the mainstream. If an amateur filmmaker sees her work as free from rather than against convention than there is nothing to hold her back; her film can be anything, everything and nothing.

Freedom is the power of experimental film. freedom from convention, from sense, from communication, from an audience, even freedom from the act of creation itself.

This freedom is what marks experimental film.

A Response to Fred Camper's "What is Experimental Film?"

Fred Camper -- What is Experimental Film?

In this passage Fred Camper attempts to define "experimental film" -- something that by definition evades definition. As such, all of his "qualities" of "most" experimental film a subject to be rebuked within minutes, if they have not been already. 

His first point is that most experimental films are created by one person, or sometimes a small group. Avant-garde films are often defined by their opposition to the norm -- which is large groups of crew run by studios in Hollywood -- so it would make sense that he would make that claim (the second "quality" of experimental film). 

However, in the global age where we find ourselves now many films are being created that a "crowd-sourced" or massively created through the new tools of the internet. Though point number one may have been true once, experimental film is shucking, or has already shucked that definition. 

The problem with defining experimental film in opposition to the "mainstream" is that both the mainstream and, in turn, the opposition are in flux. Opposition includes all except what it opposes, and the one thing it opposes is itself constantly shifting. 

If the artistic life of film as a medium is a river then the mainstream, the convention is but a stick floating down the river. Experimental film (the rest) is the current on which it floats.

A Photo

This is a photo.

An Exploration of Principles

My artist manifesto

What is an artist? My name is Carson Roach-Howell, and I am an artist. Am I an artist? I am an artist because I create. Why do I create? I ask questions about everything. Why do I exist? Many of my questions do not have answers. How I can understand that which I cannot understand? Creation transcends reason. What do I know?

I exist.
I am a person. 
I am a person born on June 13th, 1995 in a hospital in Raleigh, North Carolina.
I am a person who came to UNCW to study film, because I was attracted to the questions filmmakers always seemed to chase.
I am a person who constantly struggles. 
I am a person who tries to succeed. 

What is an artist? An artist does not exist. Am I an artist? I do not exist. Why do I create? Because I can.